I Don't Wanna Sufferman
I Don't Wanna Suffer, M an lyrically began with the movie The Trip; Peter Fonda is tripping, trapped behind the balusters of a staircase as if in prison. Bruce Dern asks him what he wants out of life. " I Don't Wanna Suffer, Man" was his manic paranoid answer. Long Lost Friend was written as a greeting to myself after emerging from a long period of attempted suicide. When the storm broke, there I was again, my old self. Kon Tiki was inspired by Thor Heyerdahl's crazy account of his cross Pacific voyage. The island's civilization collapsed when food gave out then cannibalism set in. Idol is when you fall in love with someone and realize you're in love with an abstract idea, not the actual person. Bury Them Deep describes the physical scars from cutting and how the wounds actually help relieve mental anguish. It merges memories of growing up alone in North Carolina and living thru my mother's suicide attempts and merges them with my own later friendship with a razor blade as an adult. This is all very Dark I suppose, but culminated in Rise was a dream I had at this time in which I did sucessfully commit suicide and I was rotting in my grave, green and putrescent and I came back to life and tried to go home. I stood up and my bones ripped through my rotten flesh. Scared the hell out of me, and I stopped trying to kill myself. Life is great now. Funny how things change.