Sweet Home Scandinavia
One day two loserish men named Valhalla Ice and Leif Rhymerson became tired of the ghetto infested suburban world around them and decided to embark upon an epic quest to become heroic. This mighty journey would garner them many who hated them, forced departure from the stage sometimes after one song, ostirization from every social circle, but most of all the pride of knowing they took the path less traveled and fell into a lake of piss. Two mighty Vikings joined the ranks of Norselaw named Ragnar and Smoke soon after Norselaw's initial release entitled "Raids & Rhymes." After Leif Rhymerson received a review in Cleveland's "Scene Magazine" which stated that his rapping style sounded like Corky from the 80's T.V. show "Life Goes On" he left the group to pursue Bigfoot in Michigan's upper peninsula. No word has been heard from him in quite sometime and the success of his endeavor remains dubious. So it was written by Odin himself that it would be Ragnar (vocals), Smoke (vocals), and Valhalla Ice (producer, guitar, vocals) who would create the magical sounds on "Sweet Home Scandinavia" which would merge Black Metal with rap and eventually land them a national record deal filled with lies. The classic cut "Viking Rap" has an interesting origin. Valhalla Ice was attending a concert by the Miami poet Vanilla Ice in Cleveland when Ice asked the crowd if anyone wanted to come up on stage and freestyle rap. Valhalla Ice jumped on the stage and started rapping the Ice classic "Ninja Rap." Vanilla Ice was stunned because he had never heard such fluid articulation of his masterpiece. Vanilla Ice began trying to rap with Valhalla, but the excesses of fame had caught up to the once mighty legend and he could not remember his scripture. It became clear that a new king had been chosen by Thor himself and that Valhalla Ice would have to take the song "Ninja Rap" and forge it with allusions to "Norse reality" and title it "Viking Rap". The group disbanded after this release and Valhalla Ice created the much darker album "Macabre Skies" before relocating to Deutschland and fronting an Accept tribute band. However, rumor has it that Ice will be returning to the United States to begin recording a new album said to feature "Udo Dirkschneider" formerly of Accept and "Yngwie Malmstein." There are many stories of war and "realness" surrounding Norselaw and such a book is yet to be written. However, in the meantime the best you can do is buy some mead, put on the movie "The Norseman" starring Lee Majors (muted of course!) and turn Norselaw's legendary masterpiece "Sweet Home Scandinavia" up to ten!!!!